Heartbroken
by Disneyimaginator96
Summary: Two-shot WARNING: Contains death/suicide!
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! So I decided that I'm going to stick with writing one-shots since I can continue with them while school starts. I'm sorry for this but there is no other way. Okay so this one is a two-shot and I hope you like it!

Love, Pal :)

* * *

This wasn't me. This wasn't how I saw myself. This wasn't how I was supposed to be. I had big dreams just like any other person. I dreamed of myself as a famous singer who people admired, a perfect role-model for people to follow. Demi Lovato! The superstar! I wasn't meant to be here, in my dark, lifeless room, locked away from reality. I wasn't meant to be surrounded by empty alcohol bottles. I, the person who loved being clean and neat, was not meant to be slumped in the corner with hair uncared for, for months. I wasn't meant to be sat their still relishing the feeling of wearing nothing but _his_ shirt. And finally, I was definitely not meant to be caressing a knife with my fingers, and admiring the red droplets forming and dripping out. This wasn't me. This wasn't my fault. It was _his_ fault.

It was all because of that day, the day that was supposed to be yet another day of my life. That day when my best friend shared the news of her marriage with me. I can still remember Selena's face glowing with excitement and happiness. I remember my emotions mirroring hers and how proud I felt of my best friend. That night we arrived at the club to meet her fiancé. If only I knew that this was the outcome, I would have never gone. I should have never met _him_ there. I should have never felt those sparks that we both felt as our hands touched. I wish that Selena had never gotten that call which had her leave me with _him_. I wish we would have never talked that night and felt like we belonged together. I wish I would have never seen your hazel eyes shine brightly at me as _he_ led me into that room. I wish we never had experienced that love we felt that night. The love I felt as _him _caressed every inch of me. I wish I never felt it at all.

That morning we woke up tangled in each other. We both felt guilt. We knew we weren't drunk. We had had no excuse. We spent time with Selena and continued like it never happened. During that time I longed for your touch. I wish I hadn't, because then when _he_ ended up on doorstep asking for me, and kissing me with _his_ velvet lips, I wouldn't have let _him _come in.

I shared another night of complete bliss with _him_. Next day we experienced the same emotions. Only this time, we didn't regret it no matter how wrong this was. I wish we hadn't spent the days with Selena as if nothing was happening and when night dawned upon, _he_ would be on my doorstep yet. I would continue making my mistake only for the sheer bliss of _him_ every night. _He_ would always tell me he loved me. He would consol me when I would break down in guilt. _He_ would wrap his arms around me and whisper sweet nothings to me. We would often just lie on my balcony gazing at the stars, cherishing the feeling of us together. I still remember the day _he_ told me that _he_ was breaking up with Selena for me. I should have felt bad, but I felt happy, maybe because _he_ actually cared about me.

I remember my promise that I given _him_. I would be waiting for _him_ at my house and _he_ would get a surprise. I remember _his_ grin and the passion _he _had kissed me with. _He_ left to break the news to Selena and I covered my house with roses and candles, and dressed myself in the most beautiful attire. I sat there waiting for _him_, dreaming of what was to come. I wish I hadn't or I wouldn't be here where I am now.

After a long wait he came. I ran to the door in delight but I opened to see _his_ broken face. I felt my smile drop as _he_ told me the news. Selena was pregnant with _his_ baby. _He_ couldn't leave her. _He_ was getting married to her. After all we had been through, _he_ left me. _He_ just left me standing there with my shattered heart.

I stopped living ever since. My face always tears stained. I ignored every call, every visit to my house. Soon they stopped, breaking me even more. They gave up on me so easily. Here I am now, with pool of blood in front of me from my cuts. I slowly caressed my wrist with the knife. I took a look at all the pictures scattered around the room. I closed my eyes remembering all my memories. They all seemed to be happy memories that seemed to be taunting me. I felt more tears slip as I felt my hand get into position.

Without another thought, I swiftly dragged the knife smoothly and deeply on my wrist. I felt my breath hitch in my throat. I heard the knife drop as the room started to blur. I felt my breathing slow. I knew I was close to the end. I slowly fell on to my knees. I grabbed my last note in my other hand and lay sideways on the floor. I felt my legs bend slowly. The pain was overwhelming. I tried imagining that he was spooning me right now. I felt the pain ease slowly. I opened my eyes lightly to see my wrist covered in blood. I felt the peaceful darkness overcome me. I remembered _his_ face for the last time. I spoke my last words before slowly everything faded away.

"_Joe"_

* * *

_R&R Please! :) _


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! Thank you for the review greyskiesseemright :) Today is my last holiday, tommorow school starts so i thought i shouldn't hang this story up...I will do more one-shots but it will take time since i have to manage school life too, so hope you understand :) Enjoy :) (though is a sad one but..you know what i mean ;)

**Disclaimer: I don't own any charactors or the poem, in fact its by Injete Chesoni. **

* * *

_Tik Tok Tik Tok_

The noise echoed around the silent room. The ONLY noise echoing in the quite room, the only noise that had accompanied me for the last 48 hours.

_Tik Tok Tik Tok_

48 hours ago I got the news. She left me. My true love left me. Left to a place where I can never find her. 48 hours since I gave up on living without her. 48 hours since I've been living with regret and guilt and thinking of all the 'What if I hadn't's in my head. 48 hours since I've held that note, her last remainder in my hand.

_Tik Tok Tik Tok _

24 hours since Selena left my life. 24 hours since she entered this room to see my grief. 24 hours since she realised the truth. 24 hours since her outburst on me. 24 hours since she screamed and shouted at me, and poured out all her feelings. 24 hours since she realised my unresponsive behaviour and calmed down. 24 hours since she finally stood up and with a final goodbye, she was gone. 24 hours since her walking out of my life made no affect to me whatsoever.

_Tik Tok Tik Tok_

48 hours since I have been haunted by our memories together. 48 hours since I remembered each and every night we made love together. "We don't have sex, we make love", were the words she always said. 48 hours since her words were haunting me realising how it only applied to us, not another girl, not even Selena. 48 hours since I have been remembering the nights she would break down in guilt while I would comfort her. She cried at her betrayal, while I smiled at her innocence. 48 hours since I realised I could never spend those beautiful nights under the stars with anyone again. 48 hours since I realised no one would be there to hear when I would vent out my feelings frustrated from a day. 48 hours since I realised I would never be able to be my true self ever again. 48 hours since I realised the most beautiful thing I had. 48 hours since I realised that now I don't have her anymore.

_Tik Tok Tik Tok_

24 hours since I realised my mistake. 24 hours since I realised it was all my fault. 24 hours since I felt pure hatred at myself. 24 hours since I realised that Selena was nothing to me, only her. 24 hours since I desperately wished I could reverse time and choose her. 24 hours since I broke down, realising nothing can change. 24 hours since I realised how empty my heart is.

_Tik Tok Tik Tok_

Now I'm in the corner of my dark lifeless room, like how I imagined she would have been before she left. Now I'm grieving at her last note which she wrote for me. Now I'm grieving at the thought that she thought I didn't love her. Now I'm grieving at why I left her that night thinking it was for the best. Now I'm grieving that I'm the one who caused her in doing what she did. Now I'm grieving as to why I left her like she meant nothing to me, when she was my life. Now I'm grieving at the thought that I had made her feel so weak and useless even though without her I couldn't breath. Now I'm grieving because all the times I called and visited her to which I had no response, I wish I could have broken down that door and saved her from leaving me. Now I'm grieving because there is nothing I can do.

_Tik Tok Tik Tok_

I imagine her sitting next to me, comforting me like those many times. I imagine her smile her sixth smile, the one only for me. I imagine her cradle my head and weave her soft fingers through my rough messy curls. I imagine her whispering sweet nothings to me, while I admire her beauty thinking "she's my angel". And then, in a flash it all disappears bringing me back to reality. Another lone tear joins the many dried one's on my face. I look back down at her last note, read through it again, even though the words were carved into my mind. But thats all I could do. Without her, life isn't worth living for…..

_If I had known that one day you would be gone,_

I would have savored every moment spent in your arms.

I would have treasured every second of time spent with you,

To remind me that once upon a time our love was true.

I would have frozen every moment when your eyes met mine,

I would have captured every caress, in the hourglass of time.

I would have stocked up on memories for that future day,

When you would be gone to shores far away.

But while we were together I was deceived,

That love was forever and not a passing breeze.

_Joe you may have left me, but my love for you is forever and nothing can change it. - Your Demi _

* * *

_R&R Guys please! :) _


End file.
